I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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