she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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