Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
