sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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