I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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