I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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