brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
