There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
