I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Shame is for Republicans.
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