u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I faked an abortion last night.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
