No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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