I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
