I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
