Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
