I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize