things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize