They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
