I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize