You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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