I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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