so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
