David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
