No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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