I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
