I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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