why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
ok first of all what the fuck
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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