Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
