He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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