Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
