It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
