Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
