All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
