just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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