So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
