I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
