my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize