even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
