Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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