So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
