Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
