i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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