Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
