im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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