Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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