I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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