What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize