he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
there was a trapeze. enough said
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
