ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
