My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The power of my boobs compel you
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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