The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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