he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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