you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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