Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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