so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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