butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
