Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
