You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
