i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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