a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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